Come Take A Dip In The Strawberry River (Or Is It The Whitewater Rapids?)

Some Styx, Nietzsche, and Tenacious D. Mostly.

I have tried to think of different ways of communicating the truth. I’m not sure it really matters that much how it is communicated. Some people don’t want to know, and there’s not much that can be done for them.

It took me three “psychotic” episodes to come to terms with it, so why should I expect other people to understand right away?

But I’m going to try out some different ways of doing it, because why not?

All of these songs are, to a greater or lesser extent, how it sounds in my mind.

If you took my last post too seriously, you’ve got to understand something.

I’ve just got too much time on my hands.

Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal?

This is how it sounds in my mind:

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, for doing the jobs nobody wants to.

You’re very welcome.

Right now I’m here with one job and one job only.

That’s to blow your motherfucking mind.

I am a shaman.

You can call me the master exploder.

Like this:

I’ve left my life at the academy, and will soon be unemployed again.

Now I’m going to be a motherfucking blue collar man.

I have openly declared my independence from the United States of America.

That makes me a renegade, doesn’t it?

And why did I do such a thing?

Because the government totally sucks, you motherfucker.

My strategy is mostly tit for tat. I am very nice and peaceful until somebody fucks with me. Then I attack.

Then I am nice and peaceful again. Then they do something else, like they forgot about the last time they did it. Then I attack again.

And people assume that my niceness means I won’t fucking fuck their shit up and they’re always wrong about that. Why do they keep doing it?

I’ve got to keep the dragons in check. Jordan Peterson has a nice story about that.

Twas I who fucked the dragon, fuckalye sing fuckaloo.

And if you try to fuck with me, then I shall fuck you too.

True story. And who is my “dad” from this perspective?

This guy:

And his morality of “good and evil” looks like this.

And as Nietzsche rightly said, I’m here to go to war with that ancient dragon.

I’m going to slice his fucking cockles.

Who is the great dragon whom the spirit will no longer call lord and god? “Thou shalt” is the name of the great dragon. But the spirit of the lion says, “I will.” “Thou shalt” lies in his way, sparkling like gold, an animal covered with scales; and on every scale shines a golden “thou shalt.”

-Nietzsche, Zarathustra

“Thou shalt” is the name of the great dragon.

That means every form of “thou shalt”. That includes the state, religion, externally imposed “morality”, and so on. I am free.

The dragon says “Thou shalt”. But I say “I will”.

Values, thousands of years old, shine on these scales; and thus speaks the mightiest of all dragons: “All value of all things shines on me. All value has long been created, and I am all created value. Verily, there shall be no more ‘I will.’ ” Thus speaks the dragon.

-Nietzsche, Zarathustra

From my perspective, that dragon is the devil.

And he can suck my giant man balls.

I call him Beelzeboss.

I recently had a conversation with Bobby Azarian about the existence of free will.

I believe in the existence of free will, to some degree, although we are obviously constrained. In fact, I think there’s almost nothing more valuable than the fact that, although the future is constrained, we really do get to pick our destiny.

That sounds something like this:

I wish I had a crystal ball, of course, so I could see how it’s all going to turn out.

That sounds like this:

And who am I? Welp:

I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest.

-Revelation 21

And from the perspective of evangelical Christianity, that makes me:

But really, that’s kind of a misunderstanding. I think. I’m not entirely sure what the whole story is at this point.

In reality, I am God.

What the fuck did I just say?

What I mean is that I am, to the best of my knowledge, the incarnation of Jehovah (of Old Testament fame) on Earth at this particular point in time.

Hova.

Young ‘Hov.

H to the izzo, V to the izzay.

Bonus song:

I’m sure you don’t believe me. It’s so unbelievable, right?

If true, it would be be a very sinister plan, wouldn’t it?

Wouldn’t it be sinister to disguise Jehovah as the antichrist?

Wouldn’t it be sinister to disguise Jehovah as Satan, from the perspective of conventional religion?

It would be sinister. But as Nietzsche understood, the truth is not for everybody.

One must have become indifferent; one must never ask if the truth is useful or if it may prove our undoing. The predilection of strength for questions for which no one today has the courage; the courage for the forbidden; the predestination to the labyrinth. An experience of seven solitudes. New ears for new music. New eyes for what is most distant. A new conscience for truths that have so far remained mute. And the will to the economy of the great style: keeping our strength, our enthusiasm in harness. Reverence for oneself; love of oneself; unconditional freedom before oneself.

Well then! Such men alone are my readers, my right readers, my predestined readers: what matter the rest? The rest—that is merely mankind. One must be above mankind in strength, in loftiness of soul—in contempt.

-Nietzsche, The Antichrist

Such men alone are my readers too. One must never ask whether the truth is useful or will be our undoing. The truth must be our only concern.

And the truth, as best I can tell, is that I am the incarnation of Jehovah.

And the truth is that if you don’t believe it, you’re fooling yourself.

Like this:

I’m sure some people won’t like me saying that.

I’m sure religious people in particular won’t be very happy with me.

But, well… as Nietzsche said:

“Behold the believers of all faiths! Whom do they hate most? The man who breaks their tables of values, the breaker, the lawbreaker; yet he is the creator.

-Nietzsche, Zarathustra

They hate the man who breaks their tables of values, the breaker, the lawbreaker; yet he is the creator.

Anyways…

Who could this be referring to?

That’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it? I didn’t write it. Or did I, in some fucked up way?

I don’t know.

Code monkey not say it out loud. Code monkey not crazy, just proud.

Code monkey very simple man. With big warm fuzzy secret heart.

Code monkey not thinking so straight. Code monkey not feeling so great.

Code monkey like you… a lot.

Or do I?

My suspicion is that I wouldn’t like this person very much if I actually knew them. My suspicion is that they don’t like themselves very much either, which is why they have to push that self-loathing deep deep down with anti-depressants and why they are scared of psychedelics. They might be the type of person who has every reason to be scared of psychedelics, since these drugs have a tendency to force you to look at your own bad decisions objectively.

It’s also why large doses of psychedelics have always been a breeze for me, although I haven’t tripped in over a year.

I am very comfortable with my decisions, whether anybody else is or not.

The guy who was at the farm with me when we saw the UFO thing is a blond-haired blue-eyed beast.

My best friend at the time is a good guy and I would believe whatever version of events he told, even if it contradicted my own. This is not to say that I would think his version is more accurate. It’s only to say that I’m well aware that memory is not nearly as veridical as we would like to think, and if his version contradicted mine I wouldn’t think he was lying. I haven’t talked to him in 10 years though. I have no idea what he would say about it now. I’m pretty sure he would want to avoid talking about it though. If you’re someone who happens to know who he is, don’t bother him about it. 

-quoted from here:

Gazing Into the Abyss, Part 1

Basically, he’s Hitler’s wet dream.

Although maybe he also fucked me over at some point in time. Why not?

After our UFO experience, he took the high road and I took the low.

As best I can tell, he’s been living in a castle made of clouds.

Nice wife. Nice job. Et cetera.

I’ve been in the mucky muck.

But if we joined forces we could form a band the likes of which have never been seen.

Like this:

Won’t you take me far away from the mucky muck man?

And then we’ll school all the fools out of their jewels.

10% goes to Jon.

He is more than a man, he’s a shiny golden god. Or is he?

And I totally miss him, although I’m not sure if I should or not.

None of the above is coincidence, obviously. And neither is this:

If you pay attention you’ll see it too, I suspect.

We all have different roles to play.

It’s just a ride. And whether you know it or not, you chose to go on it.

I’ve been on the ride for a long time. I remember.

Matthew Silver remembers too.

Tenacious D remembers too. Kind of.

Styx remembers too.

Nietzsche remembers too:

My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendaciousness in the face of what is necessary—but love it.

(Ecce Homo, II. 10)

Amor fati means ‘love of fate’.

It is the love of existence as it is, rather than as we wish it would be.

And it is the same, fundamentally, as the advice that was given by Bill Hicks in the video above.

Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid. Ever. Because it’s just a ride.

And on this particular ride, I happen to be the captain.

I didn’t “choose” this role, and it’s a very strange position to be in, but I’ll do the best with what I’ve got.

And this is what I’m trying to do:

So, climb aboard.

We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore.

True story.

The water’s fine once you get used to it. In fact, it’s kind of like a strawberry river.

Or is it the motherfucking white water rapids?

Maybe it’s both, at the same time, depending on your perspective.

Like this:

-Brett